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Strawbridge's avatar

What if we just imagined the enormous power for good that the Internet affords. The sharing and caring possible now is unprecedented. We can look at other cultures and people, read about them, talk with them, only because of the Internet. Instead we have this toxic culture that you perfectly describe. It’s true. But like the song says, “imagine.”

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Arathy's avatar

Exactly. There’s so much positive content out there, but it’s buried under all the toxic and negative stuff. Now we have to actively search for it :/

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Dr. Lang Charters's avatar

Well said, Strawbridge! There SO much potential for good on the socials and internet. On the topic of "imagining", the more we vote for positive content with our likes, comments, and reactions, the more it will rise to the surface.

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Strawbridge's avatar

That’s an encouraging message. I’m always in need of that. Let’s hope things go in that direction. Thank you.

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Dr. Lang Charters's avatar

I'm happy to help, Strawbridge. :) And hoping and believing with you!

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Ritwik Upadhyay's avatar

Everything you said is so true, Arathy.

Unfortunately people love drama, and fights so they can’t resist from being a part and enjoying it.

The way people normalise debates, hatred, roasting on social media is absolutely wrong.

They don’t care about the psyche of someone who’s being attacked by their comments.

People just need one minor flaw about a person and that will start an unstoppable fire on the Internet.

This was really important to write.

Thanks!!👏

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Arathy's avatar

Yup it's super frustrating :/

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Miep's avatar

Anger also feeds buying. People engage in "retail therapy" to assuage their rage.

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Arathy's avatar

True!

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Vimal Patel's avatar

People seem to be avoiding each other. Does this happen to you.

I walk done the street, and it's mostly men or women, staring at shadows, rather than any eye contact. As if the world has forgotten, we only get angry at the abstracts we don't recognize, once you look up, the stranger becomes familiar.

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Arathy's avatar

It feels like people have become increasingly disconnected from their surroundings. They're physically present, moving through their day, but mentally distant, almost as if they’re on autopilot.

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Vimal Patel's avatar

So, much of this yes. Personally, I have a few thing I am doing to alleviate the problem at a local level. You know be present at dinner, with Mom and Dad. Listen to the other person in a conversation. And who knows, those eyes so shy may be in contention for a conversation or dinner in the future.

Have you found anything that breaks through the banal or mundane, existence which seems to curse us at the moment?

Arathy.

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Arathy's avatar

I'm trying to stay as present in the moment as possible. It's difficult, but I'm making an effort. Not taking my phone everywhere has been helping as well.

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Vimal Patel's avatar

I do that too. But, seeing people on their phones did piss me off at first. But, after a while. It's fine. Keep, going you are not the only one doing this,

Arathy.

For me it was the inability to form meaningful relationships, which started this phoneless experiencent. Why do you start, if you don't mind sharing?

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Dr. Lang Charters's avatar

Well said, Vimal! I think part of us is afraid to make eye contact, because it seems too vulnerable on our part, and or too aggressive toward others. I do find a bit of eye contact and a smile go a long way though.

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Vimal Patel's avatar

Yes. I’ve noticed that too. But, sometimes when people stare, at you. As if they are afraid to smile back. And it hits your heart for a while, but the feeling does go away. As another day dawns with another smile for that stranger.

So, Dr. Lang, what do you doc about, besides making eye contact with strangers?

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Dr. Lang Charters's avatar

I love how you put that, Vimal: "As another day dawns with another smile for that stranger." We're currently in Scotland and I run on a boardwalk along the sea most mornings. People are always out walking their dogs, strolling with their friends/partners, getting their kids out, and what not. I mention that because since reading what you wrote, I've been purposefully making brief eye contact with a smile and a nod as I run by people. Most everyone smiles back. It's been lovely. :)

Great question, and please just call me Lang. :) I got a doctorate in leadership and spiritual formation. So, I doc about how to individually, and collectively, have an amazing life. How to shine from the inside out, as you create, cultivate, and ride an upward spiral relationally, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Practically I do this through teaching yoga, writing, life coaching, and giving soul care (I'm currently in the process of getting certified in the latter two). I'm very happy to elaborate and answer any more questions you might have on that. Thank you, Vimal! What lights you up from the inside out?

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Vimal Patel's avatar

Well, I am glad for that wonderful response,

Lang.

What lights me up? I go into this haze, when I enter into a hard conversation. It happened a few times in college. We were caught sneaking out, early😏. And the principal got mad at us, as they do. But, then I made up something, about us being a good bunch of guys, and by the time I was done. We were let go, and I was serenaded for my bravery in dealing with the situation.

Looking back on it. I realise. Yeah! It was wrong to skip class, or lie to the office. Over the years, I've been trying to figure out a way, to use that natural response for the positive. Maybe, that old lady has no one to talk to. You mentioned the beach, let's take her on a date. It's my grandma. And those sisters I avoided throughout my college years. Let's build those relationships, take to trips, and stuff. These days, that thought lights me up.

Currently, in Scotland. I assume you are good at relocating, and if stranger are smiling then, you are good at presenting yourself. Where, did you learn that, where did you grow up, if you don't mind?

Lang.

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Dr. Lang Charters's avatar

Vimal, thank you for being so open, and sharing some of your story. That's really fabulous how it lights you up to use your natural response for good. Beautiful!

I'm "from" the Seattle area in Washington state. That said, my dad was in the army, so my first memories are from West Germany. We lived there again when I was ~10-12, but Washington was always home. After my parents divorced, that was where I lived (first with my mom and grandparents, then with her and my stepdad). After going to university and taking a bit to figure life out, i joined the air force, so again moved around a good bit. Before settling back down in Washington ~2010. So, I'm relatively used to it for sure. :) Where's home for you?

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Vimal Patel's avatar

Don't mention it,

Lang.

It's interesting, that you moved around so much. So, did I.

Was born in small town. Everyone knew everyone sort of deal, in the middle of M.P. India. Moved schools quite a bit. Got bullied slapped some bullies, and moved to a big Metropolis, Mumbai. Covid came, moved back to small town, and after a few dashed dreams, started writing.

Funny, that you mention Washington. During lockdowns, I used to watch church service streaming from D.C. little girls would wave about the camera, as priest would incense the place. Since, then I have desired to go there.

That sort of sums up me, for now. What made you move from States to Scotland, if you don't mind?

Lang.

(PS - and since you mentioned West Germany, did you ever visit the wall, was it all hellfire and monkeys dancing in a line, singing the Soviet national anthem?)

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Dave Williams's avatar

You are right about it all and knowing that you're right empowers you to immunize yourself. You can still read all the crap being dished up, just don't engage. I recently retired after 50 years doing radio news. I am at peace with the world.

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Arathy's avatar

That's great! It's better not to engage in such pointless debates

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AKcidentalwriter's avatar

Yes you hit it spot on! This digital/A.I system is built on stamping out hope in this state of repression. The individuals now focus on what is called negativity. The algorithm allows you to create your own bubble world. This has what I feel has taken place. You change the education system and take out beauty and positive culture. This has happened in North America in the last 30 plus years. You 'Reset' the mindset. You kill the human spirit of hope , kill dreams, kill wonder and smash imagination. So now we see what you are discussion.

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Arathy's avatar

We're truly living in a bubble right now, caught up in our own worlds :/

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AKcidentalwriter's avatar

many thanks for the dialogue. Cheers

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Jay Grayson's avatar

So true and a disturbing consequence of the Internet, a creation I've often wondered if our species will survive. You may be familiar with the theory of the so-called Great Filter. It is the idea that the reason the universe appears to be lifeless is that no civilization ever survives past this stage—that our science fiction depictions of vast, type three civilizations, harnessing the power of their star and living in harmony, don't actually exist because it's not actually possible. I'm on the fence but I would be lying if I said I don't lean that way.

I actually wrote a post at some point in the past about how I was going to steer clear of Substack notes, for the most part, for the reasons you have outlined. Post election, I've violated that intention to some degree, but I would like to get back to listening more than I talk, unless in a longer form post.

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Arathy's avatar

Agree with you completely 💯 can you give me a link to your post? Would love to read it!

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Jay Grayson's avatar

He is doing well, thank you 🙏🏽

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Arathy's avatar

That's good to know! Take care ❤️

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Arathy's avatar

Turns out I have already read it haha. Even liked your post!

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Jay Grayson's avatar

Well I do appreciate it! I just read one of yours the other day that I loved!

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Arathy's avatar

Which one? 😄

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Jay Grayson's avatar

https://open.substack.com/pub/nairarathy79/p/scared-of-losing-the-idea-of-home?r=w799v&utm_medium=ios

Haha it was this one but I hadn't hearted it! That has been remedied. It really made me think, especially because I was reading it in the waiting room while my dad was under for a surgery. He is 76 and in pretty good health but you never know. In fact I think the reason I hadn't hearted the article is I usually do that after I comment, and I was gonna comment on yours (I forget what I was gonna say but oh well) and they called me back because my dad was awake and I forgot to return to the article. Full circle now I guess. (:

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Arathy's avatar

Ahh okay! Hope your dad is doing well?

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Sean Andrews's avatar

Yep and the disease is not getting better.

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Braeden Mitchell's avatar

We need Sully and Mike Wazowki on the case!

(go watch the movie Monsters, Inc. if you're not sure what I'm talking about)

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Arathy's avatar

Haha!

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Anže Ferš Eržen's avatar

The first step would be verifying the user's identity on social media. Thus, everyone knows exactly who everyone else is, and more accountability would be possible. If you don't verify your identity, however, you can only interact with others who aren't verified. Essentially, social media platforms would split the users into verified and non-verified groups.

While this wouldn't stop the outrage economy, I think it would help with accountability. Now, everyone would know exactly who you are and what you said.

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Arathy's avatar

Yup I agree 👍

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Arathy's avatar

That was a great article, thanks for sharing 😀

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Vidhan's avatar

Social media is just sucking your mind and soul and Just show you the negativity of the world

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Dr. Lang Charters's avatar

Arathy, thank you for not only bringing this up, but for clearly detailing why we find ourselves in this predicament. 🙏🏽 I'm curious what you do, and/or would recommend, to stay out of the cycle of anger on social media--while still being on social media?

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Arathy's avatar

It might be better to skip engaging with divisive posts and focus on supporting positive content instead. That way, your feed will have a nice balance and won’t feel so negative all the time.

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Dr. Lang Charters's avatar

I like that, and had a similar thought! Thank you, Arathy. 🙏🏽

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Wasteland Wanderer's avatar

. . .of course we live in an angry culture.

Huemanity has wasted generations cultivating it's delusional anger at itself through things like skin color, social status, level of money, nationality, religion and everything else in existence.

. . . one of the many reasons huemanity is a joke!!!!

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Arathy's avatar

Agreed!

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Felkja's avatar

Spot on, find a trigger, keep pressing it. This is the algorithm, YouTube gave up with me, I stopped bothering with news content, only Quora seems to be the main one left that keeps trying to push every button in its toolshed. I ignore them too. They then default back to what they think you'll find engaging, or advertised inspirational quotes, no real content. News defaults to its bias, I just chose to not read anything with bias. Or more often anything divisive that affects me.

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Felkja's avatar

I’ve noticed people are different too, more online. Its the last decade but much worse since Covid.

Easy to blame the tech giants, but I think being the stress we are all increasingly under to get by can be a factor.

I don’t really get angry, but did experience some after a medical event, not anger, more hurt and irritable. I internalized it. came off social media for a while. It took a year, I still had minor social media reactiveness to being cheated or being deceived, then it was finally put to bed, but I had PTSD after a cardiac arrest. Medically it took me about 18 months to two years to recover, and I was never rude in person, in fact I tolerated three instances of the exact opposite towards me by UK NHS GP’s, and one mental health assessor after the cardiac arrest. I just felt deflated and gave in.

No energy to even complain, despite knowing they have audio recordings, I have to go on first impressions to assess whether I can have any trust.

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Arathy's avatar

That's sad to hear. Hope you are okay now 🙁

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